the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
