he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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