She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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