i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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