i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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