....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
