found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
