i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i've created a new STD.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
