Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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