NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dicks are not precious.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
