I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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