Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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