return my video game
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
