morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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