Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
