Im at strip club and am horny
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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