this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
