I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
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how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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