I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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