If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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