honey bunches of taint.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
