We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
