you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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