It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
