Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
