I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
