she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
