Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
