Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like eating out sand paper
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
