3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
