office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
so much tequila, so little girl.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
