When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it hurts more in the daytime
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His hands were made for my vagina.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
