Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
