Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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