Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize