Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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