you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
