I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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