new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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