I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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