I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
