we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize