i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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