Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need to calm my uterus...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
