so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
