i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
