Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
this will be a night to untag.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
