Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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