You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
