the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
