They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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