Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
