he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
