Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
