I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is my gift to your gina
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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