So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
FUCK WHALES
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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