i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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