Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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