Im at strip club and am horny
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Mom said you looked used
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
