did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
