oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
