if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
