I seem to have left my pride at pride
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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