I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
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I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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